I feel like the worst mum in the world

I feel really bad but I want to get this off my chest. I had a really bad half term. I should of planned things but was too busy trying to get all my work done (I’m a WAHM). DD1 (5yo) and DD2 (3yo) were under my feet the whole time. It was raining all the time so they didn’t go out to play. They kept on fighting so there was screaming and shouting all the time.I tried baking and that kept them quite for a bit. We watched loads of DVD’s, so that wasn’t to bad. The worst thing was the thursday. I was trying to get a bit of work done. They were screaming and I lost my temper. I screamed and shouted that they were brats and sent them to bed early. I feel so bad for them. I hate losing my temper but I was at the end of my rope. Please don’t judge me, I’m upset enough as it is. I went up to see them when I calmed down and they were crying. I hate myself sometimes. I tried to make it up to them on the friday. We went for Maccy D’s, not the most healthy! but that’s what they wanted. This week has been a lot better. I’m worried about my temper but I think its PMT. I feel like the worst mum in the world.

7 Responses to “I feel like the worst mum in the world”

  1. 1 Jo Beaufoix November 8, 2009 at 12:23 pm

    We all have moments like this hon. Give yourself a break and remember you need to look after you too. Have you talked to your Dr at all?? I have a hormone related condition called PMDD that is basically horrific PMT with mad complications and am doing so much better now I’m being treated.

    Also, I think as long as you say sorry and make sure your kids are ok etc which it’s obvious you did, it’s ok for them to see that the people who love them are human and vulnerable too and that we don’t always get it right.

    Plan a good night with friends, talk to someone you can trust and get some support.

    You are not a bad Mummy. You are a Mummy who cares enough to write this post.
    Hugs. x

  2. 2 20somethingmum November 8, 2009 at 1:22 pm

    Hey, we’ve all been there! I personally think Maccy D’s was invented purely for when we have to make something up to our children.

    I don’t think anyone’s going to judge you, and anyone who claims to have never lost their temper with their kids, is a dirty rotten liar! Hell, my nickname for my two is the brats x

  3. 3 Clair November 8, 2009 at 11:36 pm

    not the worst mum, just a normal mum.

    we’re all human and they sure know which buttons to press and when to press them.

    bet you feel better now?

  4. 4 Iota November 9, 2009 at 2:07 pm

    You are totally, completely and utterly normal. I have yelled at my kids and felt so guilty afterwards on many many occasions.

    My mother was an incredibly patient woman, who loved small children. She never smacked us (and we’re talking 1960s) and she never raised her voice. So I feel doubly guilty when I do, because that’s just not the model from my own childhood, so I have no excuse. But on occasion I have felt this. I do wonder if I wasn’t very well prepared for the big bad world. As an au pair at the age of 18, I was shouted at by the woman who employed me, and I witnessed her shouting at her kids and her husband, and I thought she was mentally ill, or weird, or something. I didn’t know that people shouted at each other. Now I’m not saying that shouting is a good thing – don’t get me wrong. But I do sometimes think that my kids will not be as innocent as I was, and that is perhaps a good thing.

    I always talk to my kids when I’ve calmed down. I apologise, and say that I wasn’t right to shout – and I never say “it’s your fault, you aggravated me”. I have a chat about their behaviour when I’m calm, and explain what is acceptable and unacceptable. I think – to draw a positive from a negative – that it is good that they are growing up knowing that I love them and accept them even when I’m furious and have lost my temper. I think that is a healthy lesson to learn, even though I still feel bad for shouting. I think the assurance of your love when the moment has blown over, and an explanation of what has happened, helps future episodes to be less scary.

    I read a book called “She’s Gonna Blow” by Julie Ann Barnhill, which I can’t remember a whole lot about, but it helped at the time.

  5. 5 WAHM November 9, 2009 at 5:33 pm

    Thanks ever so much. You are all really kind and helpful. I feel so much better now to know its not just me who shouts. I’m trying really hard to hold on to my temper & I say sorry to my kids. I’m gonna try evening primrose, my sister is on it & says it helps. If not I’ll go to the docs.

    Thanks xxx

  6. 6 parentconfidential November 9, 2009 at 7:39 pm

    I’m glad you feel better, I knew you would get supportive comments.

    I wish I didn’t shout at my children, but I do. I’m working on it too.

    Good luck with the evening primrose x

  7. 7 Muummmeeeee! November 24, 2009 at 12:06 pm

    How can you possibly be the worst mother in the world – you got mad at your kids and it’s upset you so much you’ve felt the need to purge your guilt on this blog. I shout at my kids quite a lot of the time actually but I love them and they love me and most of the time I feel like the crappiest mum in the world, yet I have moments of clarity when I realise that actually, I’m a bloody good mum. They drive me mad, I drive them mad but we all adore each other. I think you sound perfectly normal and lovely x

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