Jealous of a two-year-old

My Son, Daniel is just over two and a half. He’s a lovely happy little boy, but he has delayed speech. My partner says that they all walk and talk eventually. I sort of know that he’s right, but I can’t help worrying. He does speak but not that well. He says a few words but rarely puts together sentences.

My sister Jackie comes round once a week for a coffee, or I go to hers. She brings her little girl. My neice Ellie was two last weeek, but she is a great talker. She has been talking in sentences for months. She knows all the words to all the nursey rhymes. I’ve done my best to always talk to Daniel. I sing songs to him, but all he can manage is Baa Baa. Ellie can sing Baa Baa Blacksheep all the way through and has been able to for at least six months.

I hate to admit this, but I’m jealous. I can’t believe I’m saying this. It sounds ridiculous. I’m jealous of a two year old. Jackie says that girls are always more advanced at this age. I feel like such a cow, but I resent seeing them. It stresses me out and I hate myself for disliking a child because I am jealous. I think I need to get over myself, but I’m struggling. Sorry.


9 Responses to “Jealous of a two-year-old”

  1. 1 tattooedmummy1 January 18, 2010 at 3:08 pm

    oh poor you! I can well remember the ‘comparing kids’ parenting stage, I do seem at last to be over it!

    yes, they do all do it at their own speed but no one wants to be last (and you know that’s the truth!) even though growing up is not a race!

    Good luck getting through this. Would it help to know that Einstein was a late talker too?

  2. 2 Sue January 18, 2010 at 4:31 pm

    Oh dear, try not to fret too much. My son was the same but he only said Mum and Dad and didn’t really start to talk until he was 4. But I too used to compare him to his peers and my oldest – you can’t help it. Sue x

  3. 3 Chic Mama January 18, 2010 at 10:58 pm

    My first spoke sentences at eighteen months, the second one barely spoke until he was three. There is nothing wrong with him. It’s only natural to be jealous but he’ll be better at something else. Girls are usually mature at younger ages. try not to worry. My youngest is 2 1/2 and he’s only just saying sentences and actually I’m thinking “Oh no, you’re growing up too quickly” ;0)

  4. 4 Laura McIntyre January 19, 2010 at 2:11 pm

    Been there and done that and it sucks ,

    All my children have speech problems to a lesser degree (well 16m old still to early to tell but has maybe 3/4 words so thinking he will have) . My eldest is 4.5 and i meet 2 year olds that talk better than her and i try not to get wound up and annoyed – what have i done wrong? . I think it is just human nature , if i mention a child being a good talker always get the standard response “oh well i talk to them alot and we read alot” . Always feel that is a big dig even if they don’t realise it , applying that i don’t do these things with my children.

    Hard not to get wound up over it though

  5. 5 slug January 19, 2010 at 2:11 pm

    poor you!

    Yes, I remember that stage well. I think it’s fine for you to voice it out loud. Trying to keep a lid on it because it feels like a shameful thought is just trying to not think about it. Acknowledge how you feel, which you have, this will help you deal with it. It will pass. Having small children is a stressful time, particularly with your first and you want everything to be ok, normal, or better than normal. You are human after all.

    I think that you will be able to handle these feelings better now, and they WILL pass. And your son WILL catch up. Round the corner is something the little girl will do that will drive her mum mad that you son won’t, it all comes round in the end!

  6. 6 Lucy Quick January 19, 2010 at 7:50 pm

    Don’t feel bad. Your reaction is perfectly natural. I’m sure most parents feel jealous of other people’s children at one time or another 🙂

    I’d echo what everyone else has said, your little one will catch up, children just develop at different rates.

  7. 7 clareybabble January 22, 2010 at 3:19 pm

    This was me a few years ago with my little one. When he does start talking you’ll hope for peace and quiet!
    My son is 4 now but it wasn’t until around his 3rd birthday that he started talking well. Even now he is still learning. It doesn’t seem like it now but it will come in time and once he goes to nursery or school, you will notice a difference.
    Don’t worry about how you feel, it’s perfectly natural as like me, you’re probably berating yourself for not doing things right. My friends tell me I’ve always done loads for my children yet my son still had a speech delay. Who knows why it happens.
    There are also loads of things you can do to help speech. It helped us going to a speech therapist which was arranged through our health visitor. It may be something to think about in the future.
    Good luck xx

  8. 8 Luschka March 8, 2010 at 5:37 pm

    My brother didn’t talk till he was four. We thought there was something wrong with him! He never said a word. Then one morning he woke up and said ‘I’m finished sleeping. Can I have breakfast now?’ Practically full sentences. And today he’s a chemical engineer. They say children who take longer to talk are listening more, and its a sign of intelligence, so hang in there, and read to him, talk to him, sing to him and don’t put pressure on him!

  9. 9 Rosie June 7, 2010 at 11:08 am

    He’ll be talking in no time my nephew Lewis had trouble talking but eventually he started speaking in proper sentences at 3

    He will talk I promise you he will

    Just keep doing what you’re doing it will work

    Good Luck

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