The Diagnosis

I had a relaxing peaceful day planned today. Blogging, reading, bath, Starbucks. A day with no child or husband. Today was not a day I was looking forward to. All of these relaxing activities were designed to distract me from a long awaited hospital appointment. I did not know what I would be told today if anything but I knew that it was unlikely to be welcoming news.

My news was not what I wanted to hear. I have polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). In the words of my husband I should be grateful that it is “nothing serious”. It feels very serious to me. My BMI is too high, my periods are irregular and I am no longer ovulating. There is no cure for PCOS, simply management of the symptoms.  My dreams of having another child has never seemed further away. I am a women, my body is supposed to bring children into the world, I am not able to fulfil this role and I feel like my body is failing me.

My heart aches for the baby that may never be, my heart feels guilt that I am not content with the child I already have.

I want to tell my mum and close girlfriends but I can not bring myself to say these words, I know that if I do more tears will flow.

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6 Responses to “The Diagnosis”


  1. 1 Alison January 21, 2010 at 1:25 pm

    I am so sorry to hear that. It must be crushing. I don’t have much medical knowledge so forgive me – I’m sure they explained it all. Are they sure they can’t kick start your ovulation again with something like Clomid? Zoe Ball the TV presenter just had another baby after nine years and she has PCOS.

    I know all too well that feeling of wanting another baby and feeling guilty that one isn’t enough. I don’t have PCOS but I waited 8 years to have a second child which I eventually did. I’m 44 now so that’s it for me.

    Don’t let your husband dismiss it as nothing serious. It is. As it shatters your dreams. Thinking of you.

  2. 2 annonomous January 21, 2010 at 2:35 pm

    Thanks,

    The hospital were rubbish and didnt explain it at all. Anyhting I have found out has been via the internet and books.

    From what I have read about clomid they will not prescribe it until your BMI is in a healty range. I have been told to lose weight but one of the symptoms of PCOS is weight gain so its a catch 22 situation.

  3. 3 Eve January 22, 2010 at 5:58 pm

    I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this. I have PCOS and have two children, the youngest is 12w old. It took me 12m to conceive my son, in which time I had only one period, but my daughter was conceived as soon as we started trying properly so please don’t think this is the end of your dream. It might take a little longer but it definitely doesn’t mean no more children.

    Verity have some good advice on their website http://www.verity-pcos.org.uk/

    The weight issue is particularly cruel as it’s difficult to lose but like you said some treatment is restricted to people with raised BMI. It might be worth going back to your GP and asking him to quantify it. If you wanted Clomid (which I believe is very effective) how much weight would he want you to have lost. Then you know what you’re working towards.

    Good luck and (easier said than done) please try not to panic x

  4. 4 Iota January 23, 2010 at 5:12 pm

    If the hospital was rubbish at explaining, could you talk to your GP? From what others say, this isn’t the end of the line for you.

    But of course this is a huge shock, and it is NOT “nothing serious”.

    I hope you find the resources you need to help you.

  5. 5 Peggy @ Perfectly Happy Mum January 24, 2010 at 3:58 pm

    Keep the faith, there are plenty of stories from other ladies out there who have the same condition and got pregnant. MetropolitanMum.co.uk is one of them. I am keeping my fingers crossed that your wish comes true x

  6. 6 anonymouse January 28, 2010 at 5:27 am

    Talk to your doctor about being treated with metformin or pioglitazone. These are medications for diabetes that have been shown to improve the chances of convieving in women with PCOS.http://www.ivf.com/pcostreat.html


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