Perfect, Lonely Life

First off – I dont blog & am not great at writing, so please, excuse any faux pas I make!
I live in a lovely little avenue, with lovely people living on it & have really wonderful neighbours.
However, I found myself this morning ‘making myself busy’ when I saw my neighbour outside, talking to another neighbour so i wouldn’t have to stand, chat & I suppose, be social.
There is no rational reason/explanation for me doing this, but the more I have thought about it during today, I have been doing things like this more & more often – & I dont quite know why.
I love walking into my local village & to the bigger shops & saying hello to people I see regularly – but this is really the only interaction i make with people & I never want it to strike into a deeper conversation.
I used to be very social – I lived in a bustling city & loved the life I had – going out all the time, with a great network of friends & I’d always be happy to strike up conversation with anyone I met – I’d never be lonely, not like I feel I am now.
I shouldn’t feel lonely at all, I have a wonderful husband, a gorgeous little boy & we live in a lovely place, surrounded by lovely people. I have no close friends near to me though – they all live far away.
I don’t go out very often though, and when I do, I take a bit of a back seat because I dont feel I have anything interesting to say & love listening to other peoples stories & hearing about their lives – which is why I love social networking sites, but i’m even quite on there sometimes, for all the same reasons.
I do this even if i go to soft play etc with my little boy – i go on my own most of the time & i really do feel lonely when i see mum’s with other mums all chatting & laughing over their coffee – i’m jealous that i have done that only once or twice. My company most of the time is with a 3yr old.
I’m such a different person to how I was – I’d love the old, sociable me back.

6 Responses to “Perfect, Lonely Life”

  1. 1 Sarah March 11, 2010 at 9:17 am

    I know what you mean about social life coming to an abrupt end with Motherhood. You have such a wonderful way with words on this blog I am sure you have so much to say when the time and environment it right for you. xx

  2. 2 Luschka March 11, 2010 at 9:21 am

    I guess it takes a little time to make friends, normally, and when you’re making friends because the only thing you have in common is having a child, it can be harder to form those ties. I think most of us have been there. Perhaps make an effort once a month or once a week or whatever you feel comfortable with to invite people over, or make an effort to attend a social gathering? It takes time, but will be worth it for your sanity!

  3. 3 Victoria March 11, 2010 at 5:27 pm

    It’s really hard, but you have to make an effort. Go to a playgroup and try talking to just one person. It’s hard at first, but gets easier the more you do it. When you are at home with a small child you need friends more than ever. But it sounds like you are out of practice. Next time you see your neighbours, think of a reason to say hello. You’ll feel better for it.

  4. 4 Kelly March 11, 2010 at 8:27 pm

    I hide from my neighbours, but that is because they all moan and gossip about each other and I hate it. If I see people outside I will wait until they have gone even if it makes me late.

    I miss having close friends nearby, and that is what I miss about work – the social side of it all, having friends to talk to. I hope you get your old self back too.

  5. 5 Iota March 12, 2010 at 3:28 am

    In some ways, “mummy friends” are more like colleagues than friends. They’re the buddies who are doing the job alongside you. I think it helps if your expectations are for that kind of companionship, rather than the kind of deep friendships that it’s easier to develop when you’re younger and freer. After all, in those days, a social event could be a whole evening of uninterrupted conversation, rather than an hour or two with constant pestering by small children.

    I’m not saying you can’t strike lucky and meet a kindred spirit, but for me, at any rate, I found it easier to have more realistic expectations.

    I think you do have interesting things to say, even if you feel you don’t. Otherwise you wouldn’t have written this.

  6. 6 Anon. March 16, 2010 at 8:33 am

    Thank you so, so much for all your comments.

    So much so in fact, that yesterday i went outside & talked to my neighbour. We are going to soft play with her & her little boy later on this morning.

    I’m excited, but nervous!

    Thank you again.

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