The Outlaws

I made a terrible mistake a couple of weeks ago, not one that will be forgiven easily, but one that is so easy to do.  I forgot that although I do not use our names my blog is not anonymous.  They is always a way so someone to find out and also I post pictures of us on the blog, so really should have known better.

I blogged about an incident with my mother in law and it has come back to bite me and mine on the backside.  So let this be a lesson to you all.

The hardest thing about all of this is it is not me that has or is suffering, but my husband.  Yes he is angry at me for “washing our dirty laundry in public”, but more than that he is angry, upset and in fact devastated by the betrayal of his brother.

You see his brother told his parents about the post and didn’t even have the courtesy to warn him.  Oh yes we got a phone call about 3 minutes before the one from his mother, but that was telling him to rein in his wife!

I feel terrible, I have never had the best of relationship with his mother or brother, but I have always put up and shut up, so as not to cause any discomfort or disquiet.  My husband knows this and in some ways I think is thankful for it, but this is something else.

We were threatened with libel, sue their own son, what does that say to the wider world?

I understand the pain I have caused, if I knew that MIL was reading I would never have written, well I would, but I never would have published.  Writing is my way of processing things, of event and emotions of getting it all out of my system.

So let this be a word of warning to you all, unless you are very, very careful, you are not just words on a laptop or PC screen, these words have power, more power than you could imagine.  So harness them, use them for all the right reasons and I hope with all my heart that you do not get caught out like I did.


8 Responses to “The Outlaws”

  1. 1 Cheshire Mum April 30, 2010 at 8:45 am

    You are not the only one. I have been in those shoes too. All I can say is things do improve with time and the lesson learnt is shut up & put up online too! I felt, and still do feel, really censored by my mother in law and as I result have’t felt able to blog about personal stuff which makes personal stuff that I get support through blogging difficult to manage. I still don’t know how she found my blog or Twitter but she did & whilst she says she will never look, I don’t believe her. What can? I say? Most mother in laws are a pain in the arse – FACT!

  2. 2 parentconfidential April 30, 2010 at 9:07 am

    This is precisely why Parent Conidential was set up. For the times you need to be anonymous, but still get the support of the blogging community.

  3. 3 Deer Baby April 30, 2010 at 10:40 am

    Oh golly – I was wondering how things were going for you after that. I so feel for you. I am quite bad at self censoring myself.

    I do hope it blows over for you. I am sure it will. What a nasty vindictive thing of your BIL to do though.

  4. 4 The Coffee Lady April 30, 2010 at 12:52 pm

    Libel. Oh what cobblers, really.

    I’m so cross on your behalf.

  5. 5 Iota April 30, 2010 at 5:24 pm

    I had a similar incident, though with a friend, not family (which is easier to deal with, I think).

    Poor you. It sounds dreadful.

    Reading your post, I wonder if you almost half wanted it to happen. It was the way you said you’ve always put up and shut up. Were you at the point where you’d done enough putting up and shutting up, and wanted to get some of this out in the open? Did you maybe want your husband to have to declare his loyalties more explicitly? Or did you maybe want your in-laws to know that their behaviour is bad enough that it’s the kind of thing people write blog posts about. Perhaps you wanted them to read the comments? (I’m suggesting subconsciously, not consciously.)

    I hope I’m not out of line suggesting this. I really don’t want to upset you and make this worse. If there’s nothing in what I’ve suggested, then just ignore it. I don’t know who you are, so I don’t know any of your situation, so just ignore what I’ve said if it doesn’t fit.

  6. 6 muummmmeeeeee...... May 2, 2010 at 6:27 am

    The fall-out from that post was so enormous and my heart really goes out to you and your husband x

  7. 7 Susie May 5, 2010 at 1:22 pm

    I missed the original post-wish I would have read it.

    I have things like that too, but try to put it elsewhere not by me.

  8. 8 Emma - Me , The Man & The Baby May 5, 2010 at 1:28 pm

    My MIL was reading my twitter without me knowing , And I was using it to share how angry I was about her reading my blog.

    She was upset about some of the things she read and instead of facing me about it she shared it with the SIL who turned into a total bitch and slagged me off via FB.

    It has changed my relationship with them now. It got so bad the tension that it nearly split me & the OH .. I can never forgive for all there interfering in my life and it caused so much upset.

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