Archive for May, 2010

Dear Dad

Dear Dad

I’ve always loved you.

You’ve always been my hero. I never thought I could be disappointed in you. Did we really all mean so little to you?

Thirty one years. My whole life. Could you really have branded it all a mistake? Do you really think it’s all been hell? I get that you’re angry, though I can’t figure out why. You are the one who has been unfaithful. How can you be angry at mom for being angry at you. I know she wouldn’t let it go, your loving someone else, but perhaps its because you kept lying to her and telling us she was going crazy. I know the other woman. She is nothing on your wife, my mother. Could you really give us all up, for her?

How could you say you’d never taken her to those restaurants, yet not contact the bank about the charges on your card?

How can you say you never went on that weekend with her, yet the booking confirmation is in your inbox?

How must I believe there was no relationship, when I know about the naked picture of you on her phone?

If mom was a mistake, then I was a mistake. My sister and my brother. A mistake.

Is this what thirty-one years of struggle and hardship amount to. Living out your years on your own anyway. Did mom live frugally, budget, not expect the things other women had, just so you could build up to this great place, and give the best years, the best of yourself, to someone else?

I must admit I’m floundering here, Dad. I’m at a loss. I can’t help but wonder if it’s worth it at all. Why work at my own marriage? Why build for a future there’s every likelihood I’ll never have? Why quit my career to raise our children, just so I can end up with no pension, no savings, nothing. Like my mother. The woman you promised to love and to cherish.

Till a two-bit floozy came along.

I have no words Dad. I dont know what to say.

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Help! What Can I Do About My Mum?

I love my Mum very much, I really, really do but since becoming a mother myself I’ve found her attitude towards parenting to be very annoying. I feel that she has brought me up very well but for some reason has “changed the rules” since I was little.

She always said that when she brought me up she wouldn’t take any crap from anyone and that her word was final when it came to the way that I was raised and she think this is how it should be with me, UNLESS it is her that is saying something?

DD is of the impressionable age where every word she hears, she repeats so imagine my “joy” when after spending some time with Grandma that she turned around and said “SHIT” to me!! I mentioned this to my Mum as I know this is one of her favourite words and she said that yes she had said it a couple of times with her too. I have asked my Mum to mind her language around DD as I really don’t want her coming out with bad language and many of the other words which Mum uses are worse. She agreed with me but then continues to call her a “little bugger” to her face when she is being naughty or talking quite loudly about work in front of DD where she uses words such as f***ing!

I find it really hard to talk to my Mum about this as I don’t want to fall out with her and she HATES people telling her how to behave but I don’t want my daugther to use bad language if I can help it. Also, if i tell DD off for being naughty in front of my Mum and she gets upset, my Mum will pick her up and cuddle her! What sort of message does that give to DD? Oh Mummy shouldn’t have told you off? Though in the next breath she will go over the top about something as little as dropping a toy on the floor and will shout at her.

Please advise, how do you cope with unhelpful people around your children? I have another baby due any day and I really don’t want this problem to get worse when there are two to deal with???


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