Help! What Can I Do About My Mum?

I love my Mum very much, I really, really do but since becoming a mother myself I’ve found her attitude towards parenting to be very annoying. I feel that she has brought me up very well but for some reason has “changed the rules” since I was little.

She always said that when she brought me up she wouldn’t take any crap from anyone and that her word was final when it came to the way that I was raised and she think this is how it should be with me, UNLESS it is her that is saying something?

DD is of the impressionable age where every word she hears, she repeats so imagine my “joy” when after spending some time with Grandma that she turned around and said “SHIT” to me!! I mentioned this to my Mum as I know this is one of her favourite words and she said that yes she had said it a couple of times with her too. I have asked my Mum to mind her language around DD as I really don’t want her coming out with bad language and many of the other words which Mum uses are worse. She agreed with me but then continues to call her a “little bugger” to her face when she is being naughty or talking quite loudly about work in front of DD where she uses words such as f***ing!

I find it really hard to talk to my Mum about this as I don’t want to fall out with her and she HATES people telling her how to behave but I don’t want my daugther to use bad language if I can help it. Also, if i tell DD off for being naughty in front of my Mum and she gets upset, my Mum will pick her up and cuddle her! What sort of message does that give to DD? Oh Mummy shouldn’t have told you off? Though in the next breath she will go over the top about something as little as dropping a toy on the floor and will shout at her.

Please advise, how do you cope with unhelpful people around your children? I have another baby due any day and I really don’t want this problem to get worse when there are two to deal with???

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1 Response to “Help! What Can I Do About My Mum?”


  1. 1 Emily O May 8, 2010 at 3:33 pm

    I know it’s really hard but I think you need at least talk to your mum about the swearing. It’s not unreasonable to ask her not to do it in front of your little girl. Maybe make up a story that your little girl then repeated the words to a friend and the friend’s mum has complained to you. I don’t know, anything to try and soften the discussion! I’m with you on the cuddles after naughtiness as well, I’ve had that problem with my family from time to time. And a few friends. People need to respect how you discipline your children and stand back from it. Unfortunately many interfere and create mixed messages like you say. These things are never easy, I thought parents could help when you had children but it’s not often the case! Good luck with no 2.


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