Dear Dad

Dear Dad

I’ve always loved you.

You’ve always been my hero. I never thought I could be disappointed in you. Did we really all mean so little to you?

Thirty one years. My whole life. Could you really have branded it all a mistake? Do you really think it’s all been hell? I get that you’re angry, though I can’t figure out why. You are the one who has been unfaithful. How can you be angry at mom for being angry at you. I know she wouldn’t let it go, your loving someone else, but perhaps its because you kept lying to her and telling us she was going crazy. I know the other woman. She is nothing on your wife, my mother. Could you really give us all up, for her?

How could you say you’d never taken her to those restaurants, yet not contact the bank about the charges on your card?

How can you say you never went on that weekend with her, yet the booking confirmation is in your inbox?

How must I believe there was no relationship, when I know about the naked picture of you on her phone?

If mom was a mistake, then I was a mistake. My sister and my brother. A mistake.

Is this what thirty-one years of struggle and hardship amount to. Living out your years on your own anyway. Did mom live frugally, budget, not expect the things other women had, just so you could build up to this great place, and give the best years, the best of yourself, to someone else?

I must admit I’m floundering here, Dad. I’m at a loss. I can’t help but wonder if it’s worth it at all. Why work at my own marriage? Why build for a future there’s every likelihood I’ll never have? Why quit my career to raise our children, just so I can end up with no pension, no savings, nothing. Like my mother. The woman you promised to love and to cherish.

Till a two-bit floozy came along.

I have no words Dad. I dont know what to say.


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