Archive for the 'Dear So and So' Category

Dear Mother-in-Law

Dear Mother-in-Law:
The next time I feel brave enough to leave my precious child with you, could you please make sure to check her nappy at least once when she is in your care.  Last week she had a 5 hour-filled wet nappy hanging somewhere around her knees when I arrived.  Yesterday, I took one sniff of her bum within 1 minute of arriving back after 4 hours away and realised she had a poo-ey bum!  You know how sensitive her bum is!  How long was she in that poo-ey nappy?  I had to scrub a fair bit you know??  I know you have lost your sense of smell, as is evident by the amount of perfume you are wearing these days, but that is no excuse for leaving your granddaughter in a poo-ey nappy! 

Also, please know that store-bought, rubbish, pureed mince Cottage Pie is not an acceptable meal for us much less for your adorable, somewhat fussy granddaughter.  Her dinner last night consisted of 4-5 peas, one teaspoon of Crap Cottage Pie and a pot of yoghurt which, thankfully, I had brought.  When she was awake from 11:30-1:30 last night and eating the peanut butter sandwich and grapes that I had to make for her because she was so hungry, I should have rung you.  I appreciate that you were trying to do an easy dinner that would enable you to play with your granddaughter for a change but please don’t feed us that rubbish and please remember what your granddaughter does and does not like.  It’s not hard.  Of course, after 4 years, you still manage to forget that I take my tea STRONG and with 2 sugars, but there you go.

I do love you and you are a wonderful mother-in-law (really) but please step up to the plate with regards to your granddaughter or next time I will be forced to STAY WITH YOU THE ENTIRE TIME!!! 

Love, Your Daughter in Law

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Dear So and So…

My take on the Dear So and So meme:
Dear MIL

I am very grateful for everything you do to help us out. However, when my parents who are visiting from 300 miles away and seeing their grandson for the first time ever remark that it must be nice having us just round the corner, do not remark that you do not see him ‘that often’. You see him at least twice every week, if not more, and my parents don’t see him at all. Please have a little tact.

Thank you,

Slightly scared of you daughter in law.

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Dear MIL

When you are holding the baby and he is wriggling about heading for your chest don’t announce at he will “Not get anything from you”. I am in the room and you know that I am upset that I was unable to breastfeed so the fact is that the baby is not getting any for me either. Please have a little tact.

Your fed up daughter in law.
 

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Dear Husband

Please do not repeat every conversation that I have with you about your mother to your mother. She is bossy and when she says some things to me I feel like I am being told off. You telling her that I said she told me off makes her have a ‘word’ with me about that fact she was not telling me off that is the way that she is. If you just keep your mouth shut we will not have this problem.

Your loving wife.

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Dear Step Mother,

Please stop calling my gorgeous son “Number 3”. He has a name. You know that name. USE IT. He is an individual, not a bloody number.

First time mum


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