Archive for the 'Medical' Category

The Diagnosis

I had a relaxing peaceful day planned today. Blogging, reading, bath, Starbucks. A day with no child or husband. Today was not a day I was looking forward to. All of these relaxing activities were designed to distract me from a long awaited hospital appointment. I did not know what I would be told today if anything but I knew that it was unlikely to be welcoming news.

My news was not what I wanted to hear. I have polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). In the words of my husband I should be grateful that it is “nothing serious”. It feels very serious to me. My BMI is too high, my periods are irregular and I am no longer ovulating. There is no cure for PCOS, simply management of the symptoms.  My dreams of having another child has never seemed further away. I am a women, my body is supposed to bring children into the world, I am not able to fulfil this role and I feel like my body is failing me.

My heart aches for the baby that may never be, my heart feels guilt that I am not content with the child I already have.

I want to tell my mum and close girlfriends but I can not bring myself to say these words, I know that if I do more tears will flow.


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